I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its not stalking. its research.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
