whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
