You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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