She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
