I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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