I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
