I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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