i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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