You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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