oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I came so hard my ears popped.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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