I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize