I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
