Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My pussy is not your playground.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
