Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
