You work out of a Hotel?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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