Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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