i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
why do cheetos always look like penises
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
