I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
