you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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