that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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