I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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