Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
