your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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