Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
