after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
