Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
