we're blogging at a bar
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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