my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
