Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize