oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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