Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
