Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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