She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
