Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
