He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I fill condoms, not promises.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
