Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize