ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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