It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
