I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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