Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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