I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
