Need sex. Gaining weight.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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