i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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