i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
