Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
