She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
