i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
50% drunk capacity currently
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
