How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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