so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
