i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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