Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize