this beer tastes like vomit already
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize