I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
smell my finger.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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