she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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