Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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