Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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