I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
